I might be a little bit crazy. But, crazy can be fun, right? Honestly, traveling by car, for 8 hours, with all three kids, for a weekend trip to Ohio may seem a little looney. When I step back and look at all that this entails, I almost second guess myself for even wanting to go. But then, I think of the fun we will have, the chaos that I know will ensue, and the memories that come from times like that.
Do I expect a single thing to go as planned? Nope.
And let me tell you friends, that is the biggest (and best) lesson I have learned as a parent. Especially since the twins made their arrival. I am a planner. A list making, budget crunching, time plotting, perfectionist of a planner. And, my kids have ruined every ounce of efficiency left in me. But you know what? That is ok. I made it ok. I had to step back and decide that every single time I made a plan, it would be ok if it didn't work out *just* like I thought. In fact, I basically plan for my plan to fail. Not that I am being negative--if you know me, I have a pretty easy time staying positive about just about everything; I prefer life that way. So, I guess instead you could say that I now pleasantly expect everything to be controlled chaos. And sometimes not controlled. But, that's ok too.
I do still plan--why? Because I'm not actually crazy. If I didn't plan anything, nothing would ever get accomplished, I would never leave to go anywhere, and the house would be similar to an episode of hoarders, I'm sure. So, I plan just about every aspect of everything, and then I just get to what I can. I make a list of chores for every day. Sometimes, the list is exactly the same the next day, or even better, it's longer.
That really irks me sometimes, but then I think, well, I survived. The kids are all ok, our house has not burned down, and I am sure to look back on my previously unproductive day & find at least one thing that each baby did that made the day worth it. That is my favorite thing to do. Soak up every moment and memory I can with my kids. Sometimes, that moment is as little as a goofy grin or noise that one of the babies made in between crying fits. Sometimes, it's even a little stinker of a moment with Noah when I'm disciplining him for the tenth time. And then of course, there are days that are just filled with new milestones and sweet times. It is very easy to overlook them all, though, especially if you are just worried about the plan.
God has given me these babies to raise, and I don't ever want to take them for granted. I don't ever want to take the responsibility of raising my children on as "a cause that I must bear", rather than a blessing and wonderful opportunity.
That is why I am taking these three monkeys on a road trip with my mom and little sister. That is why I do take them all out to shop or to a restaurant sometimes. And, that is why I will continue to plan seemingly overwhelming trips and events their whole lives. Because I love them, because God gave them to me, and because I want to soak up and experience everything I can with them.
Have I been a little bit of a basket case planning for this trip? Yep.
Will we have some difficult moments on this trip? For sure.
Will I be more exhausted than usual at some points? I'm betting on it.
Will we make memories and experience great things that we can't do at home? Definitely.
So, in my book at least, it's worth it all.
Now, I leave you with a verse that I have always loved: Proverbs 16:9 "A man's heart deviseth his way: but the Lord directeth his steps."
God's got it covered, no matter what you think you have going on. He's directed every step I've taken, and will continue to, I just need to listen to Him. Sometimes that simply means falling back on His grace and moving forward to experience more with the children He's given me. :)
Love & Prayers,
-Tricia
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